trust again
For my first 30 years, I believed the world was a scary place where I could find no trust or safe haven, even within my body. When painful experiences happen to us as children, especially at the hands of others, we often emotionally shut down and disown our bodies. Lacking the understanding or language to express this anguish, we tend to internalise it and begin to believe that it is our fault. This can lead us to view ourselves as "bad apples," which taints our perception of the world and its inhabitants, becoming our daily reality.
The surprising truth is that until we begin to nurture a relationship with ourselves and take care of our inner beliefs with the kindness and compassion we needed earlier in life, we will continue to encounter the same patterns repeatedly, though they may vary in intensity. Even in the absence of external challenges, we can be harsh and unkind to ourselves.
Here's the reality: until we address the energy of anger, resentment, fear, and all those challenging emotions that arise daily, we feel stuck in a traffic jam of feelings. Here's a suggestion: the next time you feel your blood pressure rising because your kids aren't listening, or you find yourself yelling at your partner for not loading the dishwasher correctly, or when you're so overwhelmed that you shut down with exhaustion or reach for that tub of ice cream because you can't handle another moment, take a pause. Acknowledge those intense feelings. Remember, these emotions have been trying to keep you safe; those angry outbursts stepped in like superheroes when you felt small and misunderstood.
Our beliefs shape the world around us. Simply put, "Where our attention goes, energy flows." If we believe we are unworthy or inadequate, negative experiences will likely unfold in our lives. As these negative experiences accumulate, we may feel worse, reinforcing our distorted inner belief that we are like that 'bad apple.'
If you are reading these words, it likely means you are ready to take care of the parts of yourself that have been running the show for many years. These parts stepped in to manage your life when you felt overwhelmed and scared; they were needed at some point, but is now the time to take care of the fear or anger?
It's okay—take a breath and tell yourself, "I am here for you now," or "I feel your pain." In that moment of kindness, you help your body soften and release oxytocin, which cultivates feelings of safety and peace and allows you to start creating positive change.
Remember, it's about taking small steps. Every time you acknowledge the waves of anxiety, depression, or self-sabotage, you're coming home to the calm, wise, and beautiful soul that you are. When you experience overwhelming emotions and acknowledge them gently like you would a newborn baby, you're making progress and reuniting with your inner calm—you are the wise parent you needed years ago. You've got this.
I speak from experience—I’ve been there, done that, and I wear the T-shirt proudly as proof! I’m not here to lecture or dictate how you should live; rather, I want to share a few friendly pointers. With my herd of horses, we create an authentic and natural environment that allows you the time and space to reconnect with your inner superhero—a wise, compassionate, and wonderfully unique individual. Here, you can embrace the freedom to express yourself authentically and truthfully, letting your light shine brightly. The world needs you!
Taking the first step is often the hardest part, as it requires determining where to start and who we can trust. Many of us experience mistrust towards others, feel unsafe in their presence, or believe we are too damaged for anyone to understand or help us. I recognised that I needed to find someone with whom my nervous system could feel safe—someone who could foster a sense of safety and trust. The human need for stability, security, trust in others, and freedom from fear is essential for our well-being.
Humans have a fundamental need to feel connected and to belong within a community. However, when trust is broken, this can become challenging. Spending time with our horses in the Sussex countryside can help rebuild that connection. Horses provide a gentle, nonjudgmental, and intuitive environment that fosters relationships and helps restore our trust in the world. Harville Hendrix wisely stated, "We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relations.
Clients can explore their inner world by spending time with our horses. Equine therapy supports individuals in finding a sense of safety and trust in others, a fundamental aspect of the healing process and essential for creating healthier, loving relationships with themselves and others.
At Ellasfield, a world of exploration awaits, where you can discover the transformative tools that have shaped my healing journey and ignited my passion for life. These tools have profoundly shifted my perspective, nurturing a loving and compassionate relationship with myself and the world around me.
As Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh wisely states, "The way out is in." At Ellasfield, we provide a tranquil healing space and encourage time for introspection. During your time here, you can explore cacao ceremonies, mindfulness, movement, earth connection, and equine-assisted therapy—essential elements for returning home to yourself with loving kindness.
With this in mind and rooted in my healing journey, I am committed to creating authentic spaces where individuals can explore at their own pace, question long-held beliefs, and cultivate new, more loving truths that usher in effortless joy and ease. Whether through one-on-one sessions, day retreats, or immersive overnight experiences, you will feel the love and intention that underpin it all.
If you want more information on everything Ellasfield offers and my sessions, please call me today at 07990 511250 or at ellasfield@icloud.com.
