shadows in the darkness
I often wonder how many individuals still harbour a deep-seated fear of the dark and whether they would have the courage to acknowledge it to themselves or another.
From a young age, we are conditioned by stories and societal norms to regard the darkness with suspicion and fear. Yet, perhaps buried beneath that learned fear lies a primal instinct: our bones whisper the forgotten truth that in the shadows, we once recognised a guardian, a protector that cradled us in safety. This duality of fear and comfort illuminates our complex relationship with the night. In this mysterious space, dread and comfort coexist, waiting to be rediscovered.
I went through a period I can best describe as a 'Dark Night of the Soul,' which lasted several years rather than just a single night. I felt an overwhelming disconnect from the world around me during this time. I struggled to get through each day, often battling debilitating fatigue and feeling paralysed to do anything about it. On the surface, I appeared to be managing well—holding down a job, caring for my daughter with complex needs, and keeping up with life. We've all learned to wear a societal mask convincingly. However, inside, I was screaming and felt afraid, disconnected from my old passions and the people I cared about.
Part of the spell I felt I was under was an overwhelming fear of the dark and the more disturbing aspects of my inner world. My deep fear of the dark began as a child in a small flat in Brighton. Everything felt unbearable and otherworldly at night, and I best described it back then as 'supernatural'. During those moments, it felt like I was leaving my body, and I had to summon every bit of my inner strength to bring myself back. In hindsight, this struggle taught me resilience, but at the time, it was overwhelming. From listening to clients and hearing their stories, I realise that many of us had terrifying experiences at night as children but either had no-one to go to, kept silent about them or couldn't articulate them well enough for our caregivers to truly understand the extent of our terror.
Reflecting on my experiences as a child, I now realise the tremendous power that has always resided within me to navigate these challenges, even though I didn't recognise it until 30 years later!
In my 30s, with the support of a couple of honest and dedicated teachers, I gathered some powerful tools for transformation, ranging from Kundalini Yoga to Shamanic Practices. I explored the darker aspects of my life. I realised that true liberation begins when we acknowledge the inner demons that reside within us—the parts we often exile or wish away, pretending they do not exist. By confronting these aspects, we can break free from the traumas that kept us small, the narratives imposed upon us, and the influence of patriarchal systems that have existed for over two millennia. This process allows us to welcome ourselves home, reclaiming the parts that were lost during traumatic events and understanding that the ancestral stories of pain and suffering from the past do not have to be our burdens today.
One part of my journey was the Shamanic practice of Ancestral Healing and remembering our connection to the earth. This is a journey that many of us can find deeply meaningful. It offers a chance to reclaim a sense of self, reconnect with our roots, and embrace a future filled with more clarity, purpose, and peace. By honouring the wisdom and resilience of those who came before us, we can begin to transform old wounds into blessings. This process creates a ripple effect of healing that touches every part of our lives. If you seek emotional freedom, spiritual growth, or a deeper connection to your heritage, ancestral healing can be a compassionate pathway toward a meaningful and joyful life.
This special journey is all about your healing and the wonderful connections it builds across generations. It helps ensure that future generations are blessed with a peaceful, healthy, and vibrant heritage. The positive changes you create shine brightly, spreading love and healing to your family, community, and everyone around you.
If you're feeling a desire to connect with your ancestors and bring more healing and harmony into your life, I invite you to take the next step! From my personal journey with ancestral healing lineage work, I can genuinely say that the gifts you'll discover along the way can be incredible. While this journey can be challenging to say the least, it's also one of the most rewarding paths you can choose. So, are you ready to start? Your ancestors are eager to guide you!
If you've made it this far in the blog, it might be a sign that you're ready to explore and embrace those hidden parts of yourself—often referred to as your inner shadow. I've created these sessions to be a warm and welcoming space where you can develop a deeper sense of feeling at home within yourself. I'd love to invite you to my personalised one-on-one sessions in the stunning West Sussex countryside. Each half-day session includes:
-Cacao in Ceremony
- Meditation and Intention Setting
- Shamanic Healing/Drumming Journey
-Session with Horses
-Sauna
-Teas and Homemade Sweet Treat
The exchange for 4/4.5 hours is £350
Call or text 07990 511250 to schedule a free chat, ask questions, or email ellasfield@icloud.com. You can also head to the booking page
